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overboard
(Preview)
John and Jim fell overboard at sea and only Jim could swim jump on my back John and we'll try to swim to shore for the next 2hrs Jim swam towards land .twice he was ready to give up but urged on by John they finally make it bloody hell says Jim i'm f##ked as he crawled up the sand yes sorry about that says John it w...
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ANIMAL
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151
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Divorced Barbie
(Preview)
The Divorced Barbie Doll One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He stops at a Toy Shop and asks, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?' The shop assistant answers, "We have: Work Out Barbie for £ 1 9.95, Shopp...
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cadillacman
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235
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Combat for Dummies
(Preview)
Advice and instructions taken from actual military sources. Some of these guys must have had a wicked sense of humor: "Aim towards the enemy." -- Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." -- U.S. Marine Corps "Cl...
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Fiz
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214
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Chinese Proverbs
(Preview)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who run in front of car get tired. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who run behind car get exhausted. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man with hand in pocket feel ****y all day. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Foolish man give wife gran...
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cadillacman
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1663
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E-Bay!! the worst person ever!
(Preview)
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cadillacman
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203
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bitter husband
(Preview)
Bitter husband says to his wife, "On your grave stone i'll put COLD AS EVER". Wife says "on yours i'll put 'STIFF AT LAST'.
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dell
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0
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188
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o.a.p's
(Preview)
man said to wife i had to show the grey hairs on my chest to get my pension wife said you should have shown them your c##k we could have got disability allowance
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ANIMAL
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196
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Comdoms, Rubbers etc????
(Preview)
Condoms! Imagine if all the major brands started selling their own condoms and kept their original tag-lines. Sainsbury condoms - making life taste better Tesco Condoms - every little helps Nike Condoms - Just do it Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life KFC Condoms - Finger Licking good Minstrels C...
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cadillacman
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1
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264
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Convict
(Preview)
A convict breaks into a house and ties up the husband and wife, he jumps on the wife, kisses her ear and then runs to the bathroom. The husband whispers to his wife "satisfy him, or he'll kill us. i saw the way he kissed you, just be strong, i love you" The wife repiles " he didnt kiss me, he wh...
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chucky
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0
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187
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summer exercise plan
(Preview)
if your woman puts on weight over the summer months , suggest some exercise. Get her to walk three miles in the morning and three miles in the evening. In a week the fat bitch should be 42 miles away!!
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bod
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213
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The Man Rules !!!!
(Preview)
The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear'the rules ' >From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. the...
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cadillacman
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0
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228
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expensive bird
(Preview)
Pulled a bird last night she said she wanted to go somewhere expensive So i took her to a PETROL STATION!
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ANIMAL
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0
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229
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ventriloquist
(Preview)
a ventriloquist doing his act started telling blonde jokes, after a while a blonde stood up and said i've had enough of this ****e you blokesare always calling blondes stupid! I demand a bit more respect" ventriloquist embaressed by this outburst says SORRY love its a joke. SHUT THE F##K UP she i...
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ANIMAL
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187
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* The Perfect Hunting Dog *
(Preview)
Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't any ducks out there, I'm not going hunting." So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, "Well I'm not goin...
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Fiz
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197
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* Wittle Wabbits *
(Preview)
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?" And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like tha...
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Fiz
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0
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218
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b. job
(Preview)
man rolls over in bed and grins at wife, she says not tonight darling i've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and want to stay clean. man rolls over feeling rejected. after 5 minutes he rolls back over and asks do you have a dentist appointment tomorrw.
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dell
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0
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229
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Proud to be British
(Preview)
Being British is about drivin in a german car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then on the way home you grab an Indian curry or turkish kebab, to sit on a swedish sofa and watch USA shows on a Japanese tv. and most of all being suspicious of anything foreign - oh and only in Britain .... can you get a pizza d...
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chucky
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1
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269
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Petrol...
(Preview)
[IMG]https://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w72/Reape...
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Fiz
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0
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224
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The International Council of Man Laws
(Preview)
The International Council of Man Laws.
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your...
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cruisecentral
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0
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170
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sweeties
(Preview)
Kids don't know how lucky they are these day's, when i was a kid we didn't have paedophiles, we had to buy our own sweets!
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chucky
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5
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309
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knickers
(Preview)
Q. why do women wear knickers? A.because work place health and safety state all manholes must be covered when not in use!
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ANIMAL
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2
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225
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IMPORTANT NOTICE.....
(Preview)
The Agenda for Change VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES Company Policy: Effective from January 2008 Dress Code It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes or carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefo...
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Hollywood
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226
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womens tights
(Preview)
how many animals can you fit into a pair of tights?? 2 calfs, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 pussy, countless hares, the occasional **** and a dead fish no f**ker can find
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ANIMAL
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0
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231
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hard on
(Preview)
A naked man looks in the mirror and says to his wife " why do i always get a hard on when i look at my reflection?" wife says " because you're a (unt?
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chucky
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0
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263
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WHAT A WIFE SAYS AND MEANS
(Preview)
WHAT A WIFE SAYS...AND MEANSThe wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It's your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You'll pay for this later The wife says: We need...
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tailfin
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1
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246
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no arms or legs
(Preview)
A man was lying on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms or legs. Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man. The first woman said ' Have you ever had a hug' The man said 'No', so she gave him a hug and walked on. The second woman said 'Have you ever had a kiss'. The man said 'No', so she gave him a...
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oldskool
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1
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234
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Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes flat !!!
(Preview)
Learn Chinese in 5 minutes (You MUST read aloud ) English Chinese That's not right Sum Ting Wong Are you harboring a fugitive? Hu Yu Hai Ding See me ASAP Kum Hia Nao Stupid Man Dum Fuk Small Horse Tai Ni Po Ni Did you go to the beach? Wai Yu So Tan I bumped into a coffee table Ai Bang Mai Fu Kin Ni I think you need...
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cadillacman
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3
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341
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little Tony on getting Older?
(Preview)
Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat." Little TONY replied, "My grand...
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cadillacman
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0
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188
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Little Tony on Grammer?
(Preview)
Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss !!" The teacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use th...
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cadillacman
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0
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237
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Little Tony on English?
(Preview)
Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word ?" TONY says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful.&quo...
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cadillacman
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