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VIAGRA
(Preview)
An old man goes in to a chemist and asks for viagra.The chemist replies you have to be careful with that at your age.The old man says i don't care ive got two ladies from the crib team coming round tonite and i want to entertain them both.The next day the old man comes in again and asks for some deep heat....
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tailfin
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0
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186
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stick
(Preview)
my 10 year old daughters favourite joke. whats brown an sticky.?....a stick . now imagine her telling me this after 6 pints of tetleys and half a bottle of scotch.. there ya go.
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bod
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0
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246
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turkeys
(Preview)
first the whores, now the turkeys, the chances of getting a gobble in suffolk are becoming quite remote?
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dell
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0
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209
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The American Tourist.
(Preview)
An American tourist goes on a trip to China . While in China , he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his "tool" covered with bright green and purple freckles. Horrified, he immediately...
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Fi
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0
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252
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some short funnies
(Preview)
What's the difference between a hot hatch and a hedgehog? - A hedgehog has it's pricks on the outside. What do you call a fish with no eye's? - a fsh Monday is an awful way to spend one seventh of your life! If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence you ever tried! consciousness...
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chucky
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0
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197
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Trucking joke
(Preview)
An Aussie lass visiting Brittain in February stops at a red light behind a trucker, she leaps out and knocks on his window and say's "hi, my name's Cheryl and you're losing your load" The trucker shakes his head and drives on, at the next set of lights she stops and taps on his win...
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chucky
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0
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706
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Silenced in Court!
(Preview)
A couple of examples from 'Disorder in Court' actual reports from court hearings: ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. AT...
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Terraplane Toots
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0
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212
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Elderly neighbour
(Preview)
In the paper it said 'please look after elderly neighbours in the cold weather', my neighbour is an 87 year old woman,not once has she come round to check if i'm alright, the lazy bitch has'nt even got her milk in for 2 weeks!
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chucky
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0
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200
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Death bed
(Preview)
A woman on her death bed in a coma, the nurses are giving her a bed bath and notice when they touch her private area her heart rate improves so they suggest to her husband that a little oral sex might do her some good, he's a little surprised but goes in behind the curtain and a few minutes later all monit...
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chucky
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0
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230
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a blond
(Preview)
a blond phones the fire brigade and says her house is on fire, fireman asks how do we get there, she replies,HELLOOO|| IN THE F##CKING RED LORRY.
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dell
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0
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227
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african refugee
(Preview)
an african refugee is given a council house and goes out to find some english to thank for their generosity. six hours later hes back home telling his neihbour he met people from 86 countries but not 1 brit. oh you wont see any of them says the asian next door those daft c##ts will be at work
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dell
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0
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208
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Little boy
(Preview)
boy asks mum is it wrong to have a willy?. mother replies no son, why?. well dads sweating like f##k trying to pull his off.
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dell
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0
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245
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Wanker
(Preview)
https://s120.photobucket.com/albums/o181/ruthelmer/?action=view¤t=KANGAROOCOURT.flv
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BUMPER
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0
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210
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important notice
(Preview)
I just read this in a sunday paper, As of March 2007 viagra will only be available under its chemical name. Please ask your chemist for mycoxaflopin. I thought this might helpul information for our older user's....... mentioning no names.. 
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chucky
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4
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327
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The sad llife of the Willy
(Preview)
The Sad life of the Willy I have 1 eye, my hair is a mess, My relatives are nuts and my neighbours' an ars*hole My best friend is a c*nt and my owners is a w*nk*r.
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Fi
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0
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202
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The Tramp
(Preview)
A Tramp walks in to a posh jewellers and pulss down his pants and starts fingering his bottom. The shop assistant shouts "Get out you dirty man!" The tramps says "Make your f**king mind up" and points to a sign in the window. "Come inside and pick your ring in comfort"...
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Fi
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0
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177
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Attractive young woman
(Preview)
An attractive young woman walks up to a bar in a rural pub, she signals for the barman to bring his face close to hers, " are you the manager?" she asks, running her fingers thru his hair "no" he replies, "can you give him a message?" she asks, stroking his face and allow...
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chucky
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0
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221
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Women!
(Preview)
Women EH! Boob jobs, nose jobs, tummy tucks, colonic irration, pierced eras, nipples, belly & clits, eyebrows plucked, bikini lines, armpits, lips & legs waxed and they won't take it up the ars3 cause it hurts! -- Edited by Fi at 04:16, 2007-01-30
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Fi
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1
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247
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Looting the shipwreck
(Preview)
My mate Paddy came home today after going to see what he could get from the wreck, he seemed really pleased so i asked him what he got, "5 bags of sand" he said!
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chucky
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0
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223
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A penis & the balls
(Preview)
A penis says to his balls "Right lads, get ready & I'll take you to a party."
The balls reply" No f**king liar, you always go inside and leave us outsude knocking!"
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Fi
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0
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180
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a clean joke!
(Preview)
A woman goes to see her GP about something that's been troubling her for ages, "Doctor i keep thinking i'm a cartoon character" she say's, "one day it's Mickey mouse, the next it's Donald duck, this morning i woke up and i was deadly convinced i was bambi"...
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chucky
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1
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263
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up ya kilt.
(Preview)
a randy young scotsman was walking in the park with his new english girlfriend. "What exactly do scots men wear under their kilts?"enquired the girl."Why lassie put your hand up and find oot"replied jock."Oh, its gruesome !"cried the girl, withdrawing her hand i...
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bod
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0
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201
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Old married couple..
(Preview)
An old married couple in there 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them a wish each, "i want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife, 2 tickets for a luxury world cruise magically appear in her hand..... husband says"sorry love but mine is to have a wife 3...
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chucky
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0
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191
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2 old men
(Preview)
2 old men sitting in a retirement home chatting, " i'm full of aches and pains today Alf, how do you feel?" , Alf replies " like a newborn baby Fred", "really" says Alf, " yep! no hair, no teeth and i've just **** myself!" 
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chucky
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0
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184
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Naked woman
(Preview)
A naked woman slips in her bathroom and does the splits and ends up suctioned to the floor by her fanny, her husband tries but cant budge her so calls his mate who says " i'll go get a hammer, we can break the tiles and lift her " "ok i'll lick her ear and play with her tits when your gone" says the husband, "why?...
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chucky
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0
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187
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What has...
(Preview)
What has a 9 volt battery and a womans ar$ehole got in common?
You know it's wrong but sooner or later you will stick your tongue on it!
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chucky
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0
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175
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ID PARADE
(Preview)
Paddy in an id line up for a rape case,the woman victim walks into the id room and paddy shouts thats her the miserable git.
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madmoggy
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0
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147
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Chavs
(Preview)
Q. What does a chav girl use as protection during sex? A. Bus shelter.
Q. What do you call a 30 year old chav girl? A. Granny. Q. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet? A. Sorted.
Q. Why did the chav c...
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Terraplane Toots
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2
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232
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7 men of good design
(Preview)
7 men of good design, made a pussy so devine, 1st a butcher full of wit, used a knife and made a slit, 2nd a carpenter big and bold, used a drill to bore a hole, 3rd a tailor tall and thin used red velvet to line it in, 4th a hunter short and stout used fox fur to line it out, 5th a fisherman nasty as hell, threw in a f...
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chucky
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0
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203
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FERRARI TEAM
(Preview)
The ferrari team manager decided to employ some Liverpudlian kids as his pit crew.This was because of their renowned skill at removing car wheels so quickly.At the first practice session,not only did they remove all four wheels in six seconds but,within twelve seconds they resprayed,rebadged an...
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tailfin
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0
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182
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