YOU EITHER GET IT OR YOU DONT

dell · dell

fella buys a packet of mixed flavour condoms. raspberry, banana ect. he says to wife, lets play a game. i will put one on and you guess what flavour it is. she agrees. she goes under the blankets and says cheese and onion! he says, for f**ks sake give me a chance to put one on.

chucky · chucky

A nurse digs into her bag for a pen to write a cheque & pulls out a rectal thermometer.... "great" she sighs, "some ar$ehole's got my pen!"

chucky · chucky

Su wong marries lee wong, the wongs have a baby. the nurse brings in the new baby boy, but it is white! what will you name the baby asks the nurse? well, says mr wong, 2 wongs dont make a white, so i think we'll name him 'sum ting fcucking wong!'

tailfin · tailfin

I used to get pissed off at weddings when my old aunts used to say"your next, your next.They soon shut their mouths when i started saying it at funerals!!

cadillacman · cadillacman

He borrowed his mums fiesta, drove the back wheels onto a pair of Mcdonalds food trays applied the handbrake then drove around like a nutter? http://youtube.com/watch?v=BbAd_56yqfg

mrs pop · mrs pop

a young boy heard a comotion in his parents room , so he walks in there to see his father shagging his mother , his father laughed and said oh get out. alittle while passed and the dad heard a comotion in the boys room , he walked in to see his son shagging his granny the boy looked up and laughed its not so funn...

chucky · chucky

A funeral is being held for an old woman , at the end of the service the pallbearers are carrying the coffin out when they accidently bump into a wall, jarring the coffin. Suddenly, they hear a faint moan, so they open the casket and find that the woman is still alive!! She lives for ten more years before fi...

ANIMAL · ANIMAL

a blonde, brunette and a redhead get into a lift and notice a white sticky patch on the wall. the brunette says that looks like spunk, the redhead says it smells like spunk the blonde sticks her finger in it and tastes it and says well its nobody from our office

chucky · chucky

A skinny white guy goes into a lift and looks at a HUGE black man who say's "before you ask, 7ft tall, 350lbs, 20" dick and my balls weigh 3lbs each, Turner Brown" the white guy faints, when he comes to he asks the black guy to say that again, "7ft tall, 350lbs, 20" dick, and m...

chucky · chucky

The best engine in the world is the fanny, it takes any size piston, is self lubricating, starts with 1 finger, and every 4 weeks does it's own oil change............ it's just a pity the management system is so tempermental!!!

stevie · stevie

Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend say's "how dare you call me a slapper!", get out of my bed... and take all your mates with you!"...

stevie · stevie

I just read this in a sunday paper, As of November 2007 viagra will only be available under its chemical name. Please ask your chemist for mycoxaflopin.

stevie · stevie

A Tramp walks in to a posh jewellers and pulls down his pants and starts fingering his arse. The shop assistant shouts "Get out you dirty man!" The tramps says "Make your ****ing mind up" and points to a sign in the window. "Come inside and pick your ring in comfort"

stevie · stevie

I bought a train ticket and the driver said "Eurostar" I said "Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin"

stevie · stevie

My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work??" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."

stevie · stevie

I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is he?"

spyke · spyke

Mr cadbury met Ms Rowntree in a room in Quality Street, it was after Eight. He turned out the lights for a bit of Black magic! Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers and showed her his CurlyWurly. Not keen to have any Jellybabies, she let him have her u the bourneeville boulevard. she screamed with tur...

mrs pop · mrs pop

A MOUSE FINDS A VIAGRA ON THE FLOOR SO EATS IT UP ..FEELING VERY GOOD AND BOLD , HE WALKS INTO THE LOUNGE AND SHOUTS OUT WHERE'S THE ****ING PUSSY NOW...

tailfin · tailfin

A woman gets on a bus with a baby and the driver says"thats the ugliest baby ive ever seen".The woman sits down and says to the man sitting next to her"the driver just insulted me".The man says"you cant let him get away with that go and tell him what for,i can hold your monkey&...

tailfin · tailfin

Did youn know that a womans mind is much cleaner than a mans,because they change it more often

Mr POPular · Mr POPular

http://homepages.nildram.co.uk/~blagger/the_duel.html

chucky · chucky

An old couple sat in church, during the service the wife whispers " i just done a silent fart, what should i do?" hubby replies " put a battery in your hearing aid!"

chucky · chucky

police investigating the terrorist bombers have found that they communicate with each other by using an internet site called 'friends re-ignited'

xtroortx · xtroortx

Mitch · Mitch

Two prostitutes standing on a street corner, one says to the other 'Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?' the other one says 'nah, but i've been swung around by my tits'

BrianDamaged · BrianDamaged

I found a great new machine at my local gym, it's fantastic! I felt a bit sick after I'd been on it an hour, but it's well worth it, it's got Mars Bars, Snickers, Mini Cheddars.......

Mr POPular · Mr POPular

Guy walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on thecounter, and sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks. "What's up with the jar?" Well, you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all themoney....

ANIMAL · ANIMAL

mate crashed into my new skoda theres f***ing jam and sponge everywhere

mrs pop · mrs pop

man says 2 wife " your arse is the size of a 3 burner bbq" later in bed, he says "how about abit"? no point ****ing lighting a bbq for a half a sausage she replys x

mrs pop · mrs pop

how do you keep an idiot waiting ?

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	condoms (Preview) fella buys a packet of mixed flavour condoms. raspberry, banana ect. he says to wife, lets play a game. i will put one on and you guess what flavour it is. she agrees. she goes under the blankets and says cheese and onion! he says, for f**ks sake give me a chance to put one on.	dell	0	202	Sep 19, 2007 by dell
	rectum (Preview) A nurse digs into her bag for a pen to write a cheque & pulls out a rectal thermometer.... "great" she sighs, "some ar$ehole's got my pen!"	chucky	0	228	Sep 19, 2007 by chucky
	wong (Preview) Su wong marries lee wong, the wongs have a baby. the nurse brings in the new baby boy, but it is white! what will you name the baby asks the nurse? well, says mr wong, 2 wongs dont make a white, so i think we'll name him 'sum ting fcucking wong!'	chucky	0	196	Sep 19, 2007 by chucky
	YOUR NEXT (Preview) I used to get pissed off at weddings when my old aunts used to say"your next, your next.They soon shut their mouths when i started saying it at funerals!!	tailfin	1	221	Sep 13, 2007 by mrs pop
	Numpty in a Feista !!!! (Preview) He borrowed his mums fiesta, drove the back wheels onto a pair of Mcdonalds food trays applied the handbrake then drove around like a nutter? http://youtube.com/watch?v=BbAd_56yqfg	cadillacman	2	267	Sep 13, 2007 by custom push chop
	mother (Preview) a young boy heard a comotion in his parents room , so he walks in there to see his father shagging his mother , his father laughed and said oh get out. alittle while passed and the dad heard a comotion in the boys room , he walked in to see his son shagging his granny the boy looked up and laughed its not so funn...	mrs pop	0	177	Sep 12, 2007 by mrs pop
	Funeral service (Preview) A funeral is being held for an old woman , at the end of the service the pallbearers are carrying the coffin out when they accidently bump into a wall, jarring the coffin. Suddenly, they hear a faint moan, so they open the casket and find that the woman is still alive!! She lives for ten more years before fi...	chucky	2	257	Sep 12, 2007 by Hollywood
	blondes (Preview) a blonde, brunette and a redhead get into a lift and notice a white sticky patch on the wall. the brunette says that looks like spunk, the redhead says it smells like spunk the blonde sticks her finger in it and tastes it and says well its nobody from our office	ANIMAL	0	196	Sep 9, 2007 by ANIMAL
	skinny white guy (Preview) A skinny white guy goes into a lift and looks at a HUGE black man who say's "before you ask, 7ft tall, 350lbs, 20" dick and my balls weigh 3lbs each, Turner Brown" the white guy faints, when he comes to he asks the black guy to say that again, "7ft tall, 350lbs, 20" dick, and m...	chucky	2	260	Sep 5, 2007 by mrs pop
	THE BEST ENGINE (Preview) The best engine in the world is the fanny, it takes any size piston, is self lubricating, starts with 1 finger, and every 4 weeks does it's own oil change............ it's just a pity the management system is so tempermental!!!	chucky	1	224	Sep 3, 2007 by dell
	essex (Preview) Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend say's "how dare you call me a slapper!", get out of my bed... and take all your mates with you!"...	stevie	0	198	Sep 2, 2007 by stevie
	Viagra (Preview) I just read this in a sunday paper, As of November 2007 viagra will only be available under its chemical name. Please ask your chemist for mycoxaflopin.	stevie	0	203	Sep 2, 2007 by stevie
	Tramp (Preview) A Tramp walks in to a posh jewellers and pulls down his pants and starts fingering his arse. The shop assistant shouts "Get out you dirty man!" The tramps says "Make your ****ing mind up" and points to a sign in the window. "Come inside and pick your ring in comfort"	stevie	0	187	Sep 2, 2007 by stevie
	Train (Preview) I bought a train ticket and the driver said "Eurostar" I said "Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin"	stevie	0	194	Sep 2, 2007 by stevie
	voluntary (Preview) My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work??" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."	stevie	0	163	Sep 2, 2007 by stevie
	kettle (Preview) I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is he?"	stevie	0	188	Sep 2, 2007 by stevie
	sweet lovin (Preview) Mr cadbury met Ms Rowntree in a room in Quality Street, it was after Eight. He turned out the lights for a bit of Black magic! Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers and showed her his CurlyWurly. Not keen to have any Jellybabies, she let him have her u the bourneeville boulevard. she screamed with tur...	spyke	0	237	Aug 6, 2007 by spyke
	CAT AND MOUSE (Preview) A MOUSE FINDS A VIAGRA ON THE FLOOR SO EATS IT UP ..FEELING VERY GOOD AND BOLD , HE WALKS INTO THE LOUNGE AND SHOUTS OUT WHERE'S THE ****ING PUSSY NOW...	mrs pop	0	219	Aug 2, 2007 by mrs pop
	BABY ON THE BUS (Preview) A woman gets on a bus with a baby and the driver says"thats the ugliest baby ive ever seen".The woman sits down and says to the man sitting next to her"the driver just insulted me".The man says"you cant let him get away with that go and tell him what for,i can hold your monkey&...	tailfin	0	226	Jul 30, 2007 by tailfin
	A WOMANS MIND (Preview) Did youn know that a womans mind is much cleaner than a mans,because they change it more often	tailfin	0	212	Jul 30, 2007 by tailfin
	Funniest thing Ive seen this year!!! (Preview) http://homepages.nildram.co.uk/~blagger/the_duel.html	Mr POPular	5	346	Jul 23, 2007 by xtroortx
	old couple (Preview) An old couple sat in church, during the service the wife whispers " i just done a silent fart, what should i do?" hubby replies " put a battery in your hearing aid!"	chucky	0	204	Jul 19, 2007 by chucky
	terrorist bombers (Preview) police investigating the terrorist bombers have found that they communicate with each other by using an internet site called 'friends re-ignited'	chucky	0	261	Jul 19, 2007 by chucky
	New photo of bin ladin found ! (Preview)	xtroortx	0	230	Jul 19, 2007 by xtroortx
	Prostitutes (Preview) Two prostitutes standing on a street corner, one says to the other 'Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?' the other one says 'nah, but i've been swung around by my tits'	Mitch	0	230	Jul 18, 2007 by Mitch
	At the gym... (Preview) I found a great new machine at my local gym, it's fantastic! I felt a bit sick after I'd been on it an hour, but it's well worth it, it's got Mars Bars, Snickers, Mini Cheddars.......	BrianDamaged	0	217	Jul 16, 2007 by BrianDamaged
	drinking is bad for you (Preview) Guy walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on thecounter, and sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks. "What's up with the jar?" Well, you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all themoney....	Mr POPular	1	243	Jul 16, 2007 by chucky
	skoda (Preview) mate crashed into my new skoda theres f***ing jam and sponge everywhere	ANIMAL	1	240	Jul 15, 2007 by V8Devon
	bbq (Preview) man says 2 wife " your arse is the size of a 3 burner bbq" later in bed, he says "how about abit"? no point ****ing lighting a bbq for a half a sausage she replys x	mrs pop	0	187	Jul 15, 2007 by mrs pop
	durrrrrrrrrrr (Preview) how do you keep an idiot waiting ?	mrs pop	2	233	Jul 14, 2007 by stevie
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