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PRICELESS
(Preview)
A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. 'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears. 'Promise me you won't tell me.' Confused, the father asked what was wrong. The boy sobbed, 'When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. At seven, I got the...
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cadillacman
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2
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246
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Superman
(Preview)
Superman was flying arround new york looking down at all the buildings when he noticed that wonder woman was laying on top of a roof naked superman thought man she's really hot i would love to f uck her then he remembered he was faster than a speeding bullet and more powerful than a locomotive he thought w...
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meadors71nova
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2
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256
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Dueling Banjos with hands only!
(Preview)
http://www.break.com/index/dueling-banjos-played-with-hands-only.html
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Matt
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0
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303
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My friend Piglet
(Preview)
Pooh and Piglet were walking through the woods together, hand in hand. Piglet gazed up at Pooh and thought 'How lucky I am to have such a great and caring friend like Pooh. He loves me and cares for me. Aahhh' Pooh looked down at Piglet and thought 'One f**king sneeze pig and you're dead!!
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Matt
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0
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202
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HELP!
(Preview)
I just rang up the swine fever helpline...all i got was crackling!
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Matt
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2
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263
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new discovery
(Preview)
Just realised im ambidextrous. I can write f*ck all with both hands.
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stevie
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0
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248
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The Value of a Drink
(Preview)
The Value of a Drink "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered...
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cadillacman
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1
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272
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Playing Golf!
(Preview)
I was playing golf several weeks back, as I teed off I connected with my ball superbly. The ball shot off like a rocket and hit a women walking by. She dropped to the floor instantly and screamed out in agony. I ran like Linford minus the lunchbox to the club house. Bursts open the door and shouted Is the...
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cadillacman
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188
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THE LODGER
(Preview)
A couple take on an 18 year old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bathroom and she could use a tin bath in front of the fire. 'Mondays the best night, when my husband goes out to darts', she said, so the girl agreed to have a bath the followin...
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cadillacman
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0
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208
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If blind people had pointed sticks
(Preview)
there'd be a lot less litter layin about wouldnt there?
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stevie
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0
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226
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Walks Into a Bar... Cheese Sandwich
(Preview)
A man walks into a bar with a cheese sandwich under his arm. "A pint of Guinness for me and the cheese sandwich," he says to the barman. "I'm sorry, sir," replies the barman, "we don't serve food in here."
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ryan
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0
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251
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Zip, Dick and Pea
(Preview)
There were three boys in a classroom: one named Zip, one named Dick, and one named Pea. Their teacher leaves the room for a moment, so Zip gets on top of the cupboard, Dick goes inside the cupboard, and Pee jumps around outside. The teacher returns and yells, "Zip down, Dick out, and Pea in the corne...
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ryan
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169
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Aww God bless em!
(Preview)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZlhpfCdyS4&eurl=http://bitsandpieces.us/&feature=player_embedded
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Matt
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2
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275
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dog whoopsie
(Preview)
Do you know why women are like dog sh1t? Cos the older they get the easier they are to pick up....
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stevie
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0
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201
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PAPER BAG
(Preview)
A paper bag goes to the doctors telling him he's all itchy and has an embarassing little rash the doc gives him a thorough examination then tell him he's contracted VD the paper bag starts sobbing and says "but i've only ever slept with one other bag in my life" the doctor replies "well s...
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ANIMAL
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177
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A mental hospital
(Preview)
After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office. "Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're rea...
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ryan
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0
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197
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Wisdom.
(Preview)
A guy is 60 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.'He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,'Pick me up.' He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog. The man...
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Matt
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0
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185
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cats
(Preview)
If you spin a cat round by its tail Fast enough it sounds like an Air Raid Siren.
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cadillacman
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0
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185
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Little Johnny... Finding Jesus
(Preview)
A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven." Mary answers, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny waves his hand furiou...
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ryan
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0
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215
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Bl*w Job!
(Preview)
my Muslim girl friend has promised me a bl*w Job later?the only problem is, I don't know if I should be excited or put a call into the Metropolitan police in London to warn them!!!
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cadillacman
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184
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My wife is beating me
(Preview)
David: My wife beats me, doctor. Doctor: Oh dear. How often? David: Every time we play Scrabble!
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ryan
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226
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Would you please do me a favor?
(Preview)
A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging. Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Patient: Why? Docor, it wasn't all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss th...
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ryan
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0
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187
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I have bad and very bad news
(Preview)
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live. Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news? Doctor: I've been trying to re...
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ryan
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0
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205
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gun shop
(Preview)
i went to the local gun shop the other day and asked for a gun that shotes CANS, the man in the shop says what kind of cans?, i said ameriCANS, afriCANS, morroCANS...
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ryan
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0
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221
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irish family
(Preview)
an irish family have been found frzen to death outside the dublin odeon cinema. they had been queuing for 3 weeks to see (closed for winter).
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dell
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1
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208
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The Olympics
(Preview)
i was in liverpool the other weekend and i see theyre practicing for the olympics. there were loads of people walking around in track suits struggling to speak english Sorry in advance......its a joke __________________
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cadillacman
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0
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181
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Spiderman
(Preview)
I call my grandad spiderman He has no super powers.....he just cant get out of the bath
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cadillacman
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0
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198
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Monkeys in a bath
(Preview)
2 monkeys getting into their bath.... monkey 1 says.... "ooo ooo ooo, aaa aaa aaa, eee eee eee" monkey 2 replies.... "shall i put a bit more cold in?"
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cadillacman
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0
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203
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Lucky boy
(Preview)
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cadillacman
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0
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176
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Telly Tubby
(Preview)
kid came up to me today and said " whats your favourite telly tubby ?" i told him it was the sony bravia 40" hd cheeky little ****er !
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cadillacman
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163
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