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A frail elderly man lived in a nursing home. He had a mean old nurse, Helga, who constantly threatened the residents if they made her do any more work than normal.
On this particular night, the man's grandchildren had visited him and brought him a ton of Halloween candy. While chocolate often caused the man digestive problems, he couldn't resist enjoying it with his grandchildren, so he ate far more than he should have.
Around 10 p.m., he felt the effects. He called the mean old nurse to help him to the bathroom, but she arrived to slowly and he left a bowel movement in his bed. She glared at him with an I-hope-you're- satisfied look on her face as she changed the sheets.
And hour later, he needed her again. This time she was even later, and his diarrhea was even worse. She screamed at him, and told him if he had to change these sheets one more time before shift change at midnight, she beat him to unconsciousness, and tell his family he'd died falling.
At 10 minutes before midnight, the feeling came over him again, this time even more violently than before. He immediately called the nurse. He could hear her mumbling expletives as her feet slowly stomped down the hall. Suddenly, perhaps from fear as much as chocolate, his bowels failed and he released more diarrhea then he ever had in his life, filling his sheets!
Not knowing what to do to prevent a beating, he quickly jumped up with the strength of a 20 year old, and grabbed his sheets. He tossed them out the window, jumped back in bed, and covered up with blankets. When the mean old nurse arrived, he simply said "Happy Halloween, Nurse Helga" She almost smiled as she slammed the door and left.
At the same time, a local drug was wandering from one watering hole to another. As he walked past the nursing home, a huge pile of sheets fell on his head. He'd fell over, punching and kicking, becoming more and more entangled in the soiled sheets.
A short time later, the drunk walked into a bar, smelling worse than normal. The other bar flies saw him covered in feces. They asked "What Happened!?"
He smiled proudly and said... "I just beat the s**t out of the ghost!" Happy Halloween all!
