Of course the best thing to do is push it OFF a hill prefferably loaded with a large amount of TNT while being in posetion of a pointy stick and a bag of marshmallows... see there is a use for a Corsa!!!!
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I never make Mistakes!!... I thought I did once, but I was Mistaken!
Basically the same thing, satin black it, strip out the interior except drivers seat, wide revolutions and it will be the best you can do with such a bad base car........................ideal car to learn to drive in though.
don't worry dad, your not alone with the vw thing. we've just got ANOTHER new car for julie. she didn't have the cruiser replacement (mazda323) long before sombody stuffed the side in, yesterday the garage said its a write off so we started looking in ernest (ouch) couldn't find much there so we looked on the bay of thieves and agreed on a vw scirocco gt2, bit of retro, nice, get it next week.