si was in the bath one day , screaming at me to get the scissors as i entered the bathroom well i just fell to the floor with laughter nearly pee my pants, si was mucking about with one of the kids toys..as you do...and well it was a croc in a boat and you pulled the baby on a bit of string from the back and it would waddle back to the boat, so picture this propellar on pubic hair as it turned it caught up and got tighter and tighter...everytime he breathed in or laughed it would get tighter to the point i had to cut it free... and let him out of his misery cos his eyes where watering so bad.... had to put the toys out of the way so he could'nt reach them anymore..hahahahha sorry hun... mrs pop xxx
another time he bent over in the middle off the showroom cos someone had dumped my horse feed on the floor and it stunk the showroom out, so bending over he ripped the arse out of his trousers like from waist to arse, i phoned him as he was sitting on the disabled floor sewing his trousers up with the smallest bit of red thread my sister had got him.....i cryed it was so funny.... he was not amused at all .... which made me worse ....
another time he fell and twisted his ankle at work , his boss kept saying take your shoe and sock off let the swelling come out and si kept saying no its ok unknown to the boss i had painted his toe nails while he was asleep and he could'nt reach to take the nail varnish off ....it was bright red....
Sounds a bit like the husband that lost a wheel trim on way home from work, drove past it as it lay on the side of the road at Manningtree for a week and never saw it! Wife go past it en route to getting some wonderful English Strawberries the other day and spot it!
Sounds a bit like the husband that lost a wheel trim on way home from work, drove past it as it lay on the side of the road at Manningtree for a week and never saw it! Wife go past it en route to getting some wonderful English Strawberries the other day and spot it!
The wheel trim is now back on one's Stilo!
Thats probably because 'the husband' was looking where he was going where as 'the wife' was probably looking at pretty flowers at the side of the road.
Mitch wrote: Thats probably because 'the husband' was looking where he was going where as 'the wife' was probably looking at pretty flowers at the side of the road.
More likely that 'wife' being mum of nippers has far superior peripheral vision!
oh yeh another time si had constipation , got sick of him moaning he could'nt have a crap so i said look take some of this lax and it will move your motions gently, off to work he went next day and half way throught thought give him a call to see if all ok, i said oh si are you talking to me while on the loo , he said for f...ck sake woman my arse has'nt left the toilet , i've been in here all morning, did you give me the right amount , well actually cos he is the size he is, i gave him alittle extra to help...instead of 2 teaspoons i gave him 4 table spoons ... oh dear.... he will not take anything i give him any more....i was trying to help ... mrs pop
oh yeh another time si had constipation , got sick of him moaning he could'nt have a crap so i said look take some of this lax and it will move your motions gently, off to work he went next day and half way throught thought give him a call to see if all ok, i said oh si are you talking to me while on the loo , he said for f...ck sake woman my arse has'nt left the toilet , i've been in here all morning, did you give me the right amount , well actually cos he is the size he is, i gave him alittle extra to help...instead of 2 teaspoons i gave him 4 table spoons ... oh dear.... he will not take anything i give him any more....i was trying to help ... mrs pop
I aint stopped laughing all morning!! You are an evil woman Mrs P! p.s just think if you did that more regular it might help the fat git loose weight!
this is a classic one.... si had a bad case of dandruff so i went to the local herbal place and brought some shampoo , it stunk to high heaven but we thought give it ago but what i never told him it was dog shampoo cos the dog had the same problem and did'nt want to buy two different types ...i thought i was saveing money and useing my head hahaha he was'nt happy when he found out..
he came home the other day moaning he had to cut the legs of his underpants cos they where to tight, oh i got to lose weight ...hum it helps if you wear your own pants and not your 14yr old sons ...yes si forget to tell you ... you ruined a pair of luca's..xx
lets not for get the time i went to italy and came back, thought mmmmm my hoover isn't very good and why it got white specks on it ...oh yes lets see ....simon you spilt white paint on the floor and deciede to hoover it up ..that must be why the hoover don't work...you said oh i did'nt know it would ruin the hoover..
i askd si can you put a picture up please ..well my god ... big big mistake...he got his drill out yes drill and within 2 seconds he was shooting across the liveing room cos he just hit a electric cable...so now i got a husband dieing on the floor and a huge poxy whole in the wall smokeing....ask fitzy he helped wire it back...so we had to go down to our local diy place to by a huge book case and fix it to the wall to cover the mess ..i never got the pic on the wall did'nt like to ask him again....
Sounds German but its not!
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