A ninety five year old man is given a jar to provide a sperm sample for analysis at hospital. he turns up two days later with the jar empty. Nurse asks why no sample, he says "sorry but i tried with my right hand then my left, then my wife tried with both hands then with her mouth first with her teeth in then with her teeth out, then we got Ethel from next door to try but it was no good, we just couldnt get the bloody lid off the jar!
two old girls in a pub one says to the other when you get older your fanny gets bigger, when you get home put a mirror on the floor and have a look, ok home she went , closed the lounge curtains and mirror on floor , knickers off legs spread over the mirror husband walks in oh my god rugby tackles her to the sofa , god she screamed you could have broke my arm he said well love if you had fallen down that ****ing hole you could have broken your neck.....
is that the scot or the jewish half of you talking !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now you've sold the moths perhaps you can either buy jo some tyres !!!!!!or maybe a real engine for the pop
