YOU EITHER GET IT OR YOU DONT

A couple of examples from 'Disorder in Court' actual reports from court hearings:

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?


ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead

people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.


ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?

What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.



ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Huh?


And my fave...

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the car impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.